Right or Wrong

I'm quite proficient at getting events slightly wrong.  Example.  Dressing the family and driving to the base one week in advance of my niece's wedding. Attending my friend Kathleen's dinner party one night early. Something else recently that I can't recall.  And then, today.  Leaving Abbie at home ALONE (for the first time ever) to drive to Sunday school to tell the teacher that Abbie was too sick to attend.  Guess what?  I know you will. No Sunday school today.  Or next week either (thanks for the reminder, but I might forget by then),Despite my record, the thing is that when I am doing these things, right up until the point of wrongness, I swear I'm 100% right.

Which leads me to my next truth. The odds are pretty good I'm wrong about a lot of things, strongly held convictions, sarcastic innuendo, self expectation, even more, my supposed reasonable expectations of others.

This might all be manageable, if I did not sink into my sanctimonious self defense methodology, but this is what I do.  I sink.  It might be useful to provide example here, but the example I have from just today is too personal.  I would hurt people by expressing my doubts.  I would hurt others if I did not hold to my strongly held convictions. That's the good thing about empathy.  The reason not to speak is not to hurt, and, by saying hurt I mean not only theirs, but mine for them.  But I gotta say.  It kind of leaves you alone.

So, instead, I'll do other things that help me feel less that.  Today, it included trying out treadmills at Precor (I think I found my savior in a Ground Effects Impact Control System), logging calories, starting to decorate the house for Christmas with R & A, and staying on guard against that beautiful goshawk that thinks I'll let it kill my chickens. And blogging. Day 2.

Good night.